


Broken Strings

by TotoroPirate



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, seblaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-23
Updated: 2012-12-23
Packaged: 2017-11-22 03:30:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/605347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TotoroPirate/pseuds/TotoroPirate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>4 years after last seeing each other, Sebastian and Blaine try and rekindle their friendship. However, they both have drastically changed from how they were in high school, some for the better and some for the worse. Sebastian is on his way to becoming a successful lawyer, and Blaine is trying to get a music degree while struggling with a drug problem. Written for the Seblaine Mini Bang.</p><p>Warnings for: drug use, depression and attempted suicide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sebastian stared at himself in the mirror for almost the tenth time that morning. He smiled to check his teeth were clean, shifted his head from side to side to check his hair, straightened the collar of his polo shirt and even tested his breath against the palm of his hand. Usually he never paid this much attention to his appearance, but today was different. He was going to meet up with Blaine for coffee, and that just wasn’t something that happened very often, or ever, for that matter.

He hadn’t seen Blaine in almost 4 years since they graduated High School, and last week they had bumped into each other in the subway. It had been the most random thing to happen to Sebastian that week. He was having a terrible day, coming from school tired and on his way to his apartment, he almost fell into Blaine when some guy had pushed him to make his way through the crowd.

It was a really pleasant surprise to find Blaine again after all this time, and it was like all the awkwardness that had formerly existed between them just disappeared. Sebastian remembered the last few times he saw Blaine in high school were not particularly friendly. It wasn't that Blaine was ever blatantly dismissive of Sebastian, but the mere fact that he never reciprocated his feelings was enough for it to feel like it hurt just as much as if he had been. That small burn of rejection, added to the ridiculousness of the stupid faux rivalry between them for their show choir competitions was enough to estrange their barely existing friendship, and after they both graduated and went away for college, they'd never seen each other or even spoke again.

He’d given up on having any sort of relationship, or even friendship with Blaine, figuring it was for the best. But now somehow the thought of reconnecting with Blaine intrigued him. He used to have such a crush on Blaine it wasn’t even funny, but now he was finally over it. So he was happy to have bumped into him, and was looking forward to giving a try at being just friends this time. He wasn't a pinning teenager anymore, he was a young adult, taking charge of his life. Sebastian was quite proud of how his life was turning up, and was looking forward to knowing what Blaine had been up to all these years. Sebastian smiled as he grabbed his jacket and headed towards the door.

He headed for the nearby Starbucks, where they agreed to meet. He was 5 minutes early, so he went inside and found a table for 2 where he could wait for Blaine. Sebastian was sure it was probably just his nerves, but every minute be waited for Blaine felt like an eternity. However, when 5 minutes became 10, and 10 became 20, he started to think maybe Blaine wasn't going to show up. 

They had exchanged phone numbers, and Sebastian texted Blaine 15 minutes ago asking where he was, but Blaine had not texted him back. And so, feeling bitter and disappointed, Sebastian got up from the table and decided to order something before leaving. After all, he had been sitting there occupying a table for a little more than half an hour.

Once he got his coffee to go, he checked his phone one last time before heading for the door. As he pushed the door to leave, Blaine slammed into him, causing Sebastian to drop his paper cup and spilling the hot coffee on the floor and both their shoes.

"Fuck! I'm so sorry Sebastian... Shit." Blaine said as he picked up his bag from the ground and looked at the mess on Sebastian's shoes and the floor.

"It's fine, Blaine..."

"I'm such a fucking idiot sorry I-"

"Blaine I said its fine." Sebastian said again before Blaine could keep on babbling. Since when did Blaine curse so much anyway? This was a change from the ever so proper and dapper boy he remembered from high school.

Blaine's appearance had also changed. He was wearing pale blue jeans and a faded red tshirt underneath a brown cardigan. He had a bit of scruff growing on his jaw and his curls hung wildly over his forehead. 

"You were leaving... I'm sorry. Do you have somewhere else to be?" Blaine asked awkwardly.

"No, I just thought you weren't coming." Sebastian said, frowning, "I texted you."

"You did?" Blaine asked, reaching for his pocket but finding nothing, "Ah, crap... I must have left my phone at home, sorry."

Sebastian just shrugged, but before he could say anything Blaine spoke again.

"Let me make it up to you. I now a place a couple of blocks away from here, I'll buy you a drink!"

Blaine's bright and hopeful smile was enough for Sebastian to forget about the awkwardness of the situation and he couldn't even be mad at Blaine for being late anymore.

"Okay, sounds good." He finally said as they both smiled and walked down the street to where Blaine suggested. It was a small, bohemian pub, nice enough for them to lay back and catch up.

Soon enough they started talking about everything and anything and they completely lost track of time. It was easier than it ever was back in high school, probably because there were no ulterior motives on Sebastian's side and no worries of a jealous boyfriend on Blaine's part.

Sebastian told Blaine about college, about how he was almost done with law school and had landed an internship in a prestigious law firm. He was able to move out from the school dorms and was renting an apartment nearby. He could have done it from the start, but his parents insisted he live on campus, probably worrying about Sebastian slacking or being irresponsible on his own.

Sebastian could have gone on forever, talking about his life, but he also wanted to know about Blaine, so every time he caught himself talking too much, Sebastian switched the conversation back to Blaine.

Blaine however, seemed more interested in hearing about Sebastian's life than about sharing his own, and it didn't take long for Sebastian to figure out that he was actually avoiding Sebastian's questions.

"So, Juilliard..." Sebastian tried again, "I'm glad you went for it, I remember you saying you would probably end up going into business school."

Blaine snorted "Yeah, but just because dad wanted me to. But I would have probably sucked at it anyway."

They both laughed.

"So how did you manage to convince him then?" 

"I didn't." Blaine's smile turned into a tight line, "He um... he died." He said dryly.

Sebastian went rigid.

"Wow, Blaine I never knew, I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, only a few people heard about it."

Sebastian sat silently as Blaine told him about how his dad had suffered through a prostate cancer that was not diagnosed on time. About spending the last months of his senior year in trips to the hospital and the horrible and inevitable waiting for his dad to pass away.

With his father no longer around, Blaine decided to withdraw from business school and applied to Juilliard to study music instead. Once he finally turned 21 he was able to access his inheritance money and had moved out of campus.

Sebastian was speechless, "I can't believe no one told me..." He said, feeling completely baffled.

"We'll, I did kinda fall off the face of the earth." Blaine said, laughing like it was no big deal.

"So you don't talk to any of the guys from Dalton anymore?"

"No, not really." Blaine admitted, "Do you?"

"Yeah, well... I still talk to Trent and Jeff every now and then, they go to NYU you know?"

Blaine just shrugged. 

Apparently, Blaine no longer spoke to anyone from back home anymore, aside of his family. Sebastian found that to be surprising, and even a little weird.

"So you don't talk to anyone anymore?"

"Nope..." Blaine said taking another sip of his beer. "People just drift apart after school, I guess."

"You're right about that..." Sebastian said, smiling tightly. "We all just go our separate ways."

He felt curious and wanted to ask him about Kurt, but decided against it. Figured they probably hadn't gotten back together after they broke up during Blaine's senior year. Maybe it was better to not talk about their love life this time. After all, they were just getting reacquainted and they'd have plenty of chances to talk about that later. Sebastian's "love life" was complicated enough at the moment anyways, and he'd rather not talk about it either.

Unfortunately for Sebastian, his phone started ringing right then, and it was Gareth. 

Sebastian wasn't able to hide the discomfort from his face, and asked Blaine to give him a second to take the call.

"Hey G." Sebastian greeted, only half turning his body from where Blaine was seated in the stool next to him.

"Hey babe... Where are you?" Came the voice from the other line, and it was loud and cheery as ever. Sebastian wondered if Blaine would be able to hear him.

"I'm at Jake's... Um, it's a pub down the street from Starbucks, I'm here with a friend, remember?"

"Oh right..." There was a small, awkward pause, "Will you be home soon? I wanted to come over, hoping we could talk?"

Sebastian just bit his lip, uncertain of what to do. They'd gotten into pretty nasty fight 2 days ago, and things had been awkward between them ever since. They still hadn't talked, not in person. Such was his luck that Gareth decided he'd wanted to talk just now, when he was busy.

"I don't know G, I'm still gonna be here for a while. I'll call you when I get home."

"Oh... Okay." Said Gareth, obviously disappointed.

Once Sebastian hung up and looked at Blaine, the shorter man had a mischievous look on his face.

"Babe huh?" He asked teasingly.

"Shut up." Sebastian said, chuckling.

"You have a boyfriend?"

"Well..." Sebastian hesitated, "Let's just say it’s complicated."

They both laughed at that, and Blaine didn't ask any more questions. But Sebastian decided to explain, even if just a bit.

"We've been kinda going out, for a while now. But we're not..."

"Exclusive?" Blaine asked.

"Official." Sebastian cleared up. "We're just taking it slow... I guess." He said laughing.

He really liked Gareth, they went to school together and had known each other for a couple of years now. They had become good friends and gotten along really well but ever since they started going out and sleeping together he'd gradually changed and become more needy, even clingy, and Sebastian just had a really hard time not snapping at him every single time.

The whole reason they'd gotten into a fight this time was because Sebastian didn't tell him about a private party he was invited to because of work. Gareth was upset because Sebastian decided to go alone and didn't take him with him. It wasn't that Sebastian didn't want him, but he figured if it was a work related thing he just rather keep his personal life out of it.

Sebastian just needed a bit of more time before taking that next step. Making things official, introducing each other as boyfriends, meeting family and all, it just was an intimidating thought.

So after another hour of talking to Blaine, they said their goodbyes and went their separate ways with the promise to keep in touch.

\-----

Sebastian went back home and eventually made up with Gareth, as he always did. It was a sort of rhythm they had slowly fallen into. They would be okay for some time, have fun, go out, have amazing sex, and then fight over the smallest and silliest things just to make up again later.

Blaine and Sebastian started making efforts to keep in touch, and build a friendship with a rhythm of their own. With their school and work schedules being so different, it wasn't easy to make time to meet up, but they were at least talking online almost every day, so that was something.

Whenever they could meet up, they'd talk for hours at a time. It was something Sebastian always looked forward to, and apparently so did Blaine. Sebastian couldn't help but wonder how come Blaine seemed so eager to reconnect with him when he'd pretty much pushed away all other friends he had from high school.

They slowly grew fond of one another, earning each other's trust as they talked about anything and everything. It was easy and comfortable and Sebastian wondered if this is what things could have been like if he'd acted differently back when they first met.

This time, it was Sebastian who was with someone, and Blaine the one who was single. Gareth seemed to get along with Blaine just fine, or at least he never said otherwise whenever Sebastian talked about him when they were alone. However, that didn't mean Sebastian was oblivious to the way Gareth rolled his eyes and silently huffed whenever he'd tell him he was going out with Blaine.

Sebastian assumed, or at least hoped that that had more to to with Gareth wanting to occupy more of Sebastian's time than it had to do with actual jealousy towards Blaine, he tried not to give Gareth reasons to distrust him. After all, Sebastian figured that perhaps part of why his friendship with Blaine was thriving so far was because he'd finally stopped trying to get into Blaine's pants and focused on being his friend instead.

It didn't mean that Sebastian didn't find Blaine attractive anymore, or that he didn't catch himself flirting with him sometimes before he could stop himself; it was just that he had a different mindset now. His first few years of college had been spent in a haze of parties and random hookups, where he couldn't have cared less if he got involved with two guys at the time, but that was no longer the case, it was no longer who he was.

Gareth and Blaine were total opposites, and so it was interesting for Sebastian to see how he clearly didn't have a "type" so to speak. Gareth had pale skin, blue eyes and blond hair he liked to keep trimmed short, he was built stronger and only half an inch shorter than Sebastian. He had a great sense of humor, liked the same sports as he did and was also great in bed, so Sebastian had no complaints in that respect.

Sebastian tried not to think about what it would be like to be with Blaine, especially when they started spending a lot of time together. Being Blaine's friend was nice and he didn't want to screw it up.

However, things weren't always easy. Blaine's mood seemed to fluctuate quite a bit. Sometimes Sebastian would suggest they meet up and he would make crappy excuses just to make himself unavailable. Other times, Blaine would completely disappear, not taking Sebastian's calls or responding to his texts or even getting online at all, only to reappear after a couple of weeks making apologies and asking to meet up with him again.

After a couple of times of Blaine repeating that pattern, Sebastian was getting tired of it. After much talking and convincing, and inspite of Blaine's reluctance, they agreed to meet up for lunch on Friday to a small Italian restaurant near Sebastian's workplace. 

"Blaine, are you okay?" Sebastian asked cautiously as they waited for their meals.

"Yeah, I'm fine... Just fine." Blaine tried to bluff, smiling widely, but Sebastian knew something was off.

Blaine looked completely drained. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked even more disheveled than usual. By this point Sebastian was used to Blaine's new look, so to speak. He didn't seem to put much effort into gelling his hair and wearing neatly put together outfits with bow ties and slacks like he did so often in high school, and it was fine cause he did look good in a more relaxed and casual style, but right now it seemed like Blaine didn't even sleep at all the night before. His eyes were bloodshot and not even the thick-framed glasses he was wearing could hide them.

"You look like crap." Sebastian tried this time with blunt sincerity, hoping Blaine would at least have some kind of reaction.

Blaine snorted, "Geez, thanks Seb..."

"I'm just worried, it's all."

"We'll don't..." Blaine said, "I've just been really busy lately, with finals and stuff. It's just a lot of pressure. I'm fucking exhausted."

Sebastian just gave him a wary look, clearly unconvinced but not wanting to push the issue any further. He couldn’t help but wonder how stressful could it possibly be -getting a music degree- but Blaine did mention a competition coming up, and that he had just recently started playing violin and cello.

"We'll, my birthday is coming up next week..." Sebastian said, changing the subject, "Will you be around or are you gonna disappear on me again?"

"Is it really? Do you have any plans?"

"Gareth wants to throw me a party, nothing big, just friends at his place... so you can't bail on me!"

"I won't..." Blaine laughed and lifted his right hand "I'll be there, promise."

Sebastian wished he could stop the warm feeling Blaine's little gesture and promise gave him. He didn't want to have feelings for Blaine other than friendship. So he just grinned and raised an eyebrow. "You better."

\----

Just as promised, Blaine stayed in the radar for the next few days. Constantly texting Sebastian and even offering to help with the party arrangements, even though Sebastian kept telling him that it was fine, that it was just a small get together thing and that Gareth had everything under control.

However, just the day before Sebastian's birthday, he and Gareth got into an argument that had quickly escalated until they were both screaming at each other and Sebastian had gotten so frustrated to the point he'd finally snapped and told Gareth to "fuck off" which had resulted in the blond man yelling the same back at him and storming out of his apartment, slamming the door behind him.

Sebastian was so upset that he even felt physically sick after their fight, it was by far the worse one they'd ever had. There had been a point during their yelling that Sebastian was sure Gareth was going to either slap or punch him. It had really been awful. Sebastian regretted some of the things he said, but he didn't make any effort at calling or even texting Gareth that night. He figured that next morning with his head hopefully a little clearer, they could talk again and at least be able to coexist at the party.

Things didn't go the way he expected them to at all though, as the first thing Sebastian woke up to the next morning was 5 missed calls, which he could assume were to wish him a happy birthday, except they were all from the same person: Jenna, one of their classmates, and Gareth's best friend. She also texted him, asking if the party was really canceled and if everything was okay between them cause she tried calling Gareth but he wasn't picking up.

Sebastian groaned as he got out of bed, dreading the drama that he would most likely have do deal with on his birthday of all days. He tried calling Gareth twice but he wouldn't pick up. He checked his email and realized Gareth sent a message to all their invited friends -except Blaine- to inform them the party was cancelled and apologizing for the inconvenience in the most vague way possible. 

Shit. This was really bad. Why did Gareth have to be such a pain in the ass? 

He tried calling for the third time and it went straight to voicemail. Sebastian knew he needed to make some damage control as soon as possible, but he really didn’t want to have to deal with this on his birthday. He was looking forward to a day of just hanging out and getting wasted, not drama and bickering and fighting. 

His phone suddenly buzzed with a new text message, and once he read it Sebastian knew it was real this time.

From Gareth Wright:  
Please stop calling. We're done Sebastian.   
Happy birthday, I hope you're happy now.

Sebastian fell back onto the bed and cursed. Had he just been officially dumped? He didn't know whether to laugh or cry or both. And even if he didn't want to admit this, it hurt.

After a couple of hours of just laying in bed sulking and ignoring calls from friends, he decided he needed to turn off his phone, but not without texting Blaine first.

To Blaine Anderson:  
Party is cancelled. Gareth and I broke up.

The response was instant.

From Blaine Anderson:  
Shit. I'm on my way.

Half an hour later, Blaine was knocking on Sebastian's door, hands full with coffee and Sebastian's favorite cream cheese and raspberry jam bagels from the bakery down the street. Sebastian smiled fondly, and he had never been happier to see Blaine in his entire life.


	2. Chapter 2

They spent the day in the couch, with Sebastian snuggled under a blanket ranting and complaining about everything and Blaine just attentively listening and trying to be a supportive friend. For lunch they ordered from the nearby Chinese restaurant and stuffed themselves full. Later that afternoon, Sebastian noticed Blaine seemed to be getting a little uncomfortable and figured he was most likely already bored of being stuck with him all day when he probably had better things to do. However, when Blaine finally announced he was leaving, he promised to come back later to pick Sebastian up and take him out clubbing. 

Blaine said he was determined to not let this breakup prevent Sebastian from having a good time on his birthday.

Just as promised, a few hours later, Blaine came back to pick him up, and once Sebastian opened the door, he couldn't help but gape.

Blaine was looking good, better than any other time he'd seen him lately. He was wearing tight black skinny jeans and ankle boots that accentuated his legs in all the right places, a burgundy V-neck shirt and a dark brown leather jacket. Even his hair looked great, with his curls perfectly styled, and he smelled amazing. Sebastian was shaken out of his reverie when Blaine finally asked: "Are you ready to go? Cause you have an awesome night ahead of you, birthday boy."

Sebastian just rolled his eyes and laughed, grabbing his jacket, and quick enough they walked down the stairs to get into a cab that Blaine already had waiting for them outside.

"So... Can I know where are you taking me?" 

"Nope, it's a surprise."

"Come on, it's my birthday, can't I at least know where we're going to see if I'm in the mood for it or not?"

Blaine just laughed, "We're going to all my favorite spots, actually..." Sebastian gave him a weird look before he caught up with what he meant. "We're going club hopping, starting here."

They got out the cab and into a small Pub. They had live music and the place seemed really nice, though it was more of a place to drink and talk than to dance and get thoroughly wasted like Sebastian was hoping.

Blaine must have read Sebastian's thoughts on his face because he quickly said: "Don't worry, we're only here for the warm-up."

And so they headed for the bar and Blaine ordered them a couple of beers before calling for the house's specialty: Irish Car Bombs.

Needless to say, Sebastian was pleasantly surprised as they quickly drank them down, tasting the sweetness of the cream and the burn of the whiskey all at the same time.

"Wow... This tastes really good." Sebastian said, licking the leftover cream from his upper lip. "It's like a milkshake, but with booze!"

"I told you..." Blaine said cheerily as he downed the rest of his drink, "Consider this the equivalent of your birthday cake!"

They laughed and ordered another one. It was barely enough to even give them a considerable buzz, but Blaine had been right: it was a great warm-up. By the time they arrived to the next stop, they were ready for the heavy drinking and dancing that would take Sebastian's mind off of the crap and drama he'd endured that day.

The club was loud and crowded, but it didn't matter, this was exactly what they needed at the moment. Sebastian could feel the buzzing energy from the second they stepped into the place. So after making the mandatory visit to the bar and ordering a double round of tequila shots, Blaine pushed Sebastian by the shoulders into the dance floor and they got lost among the writhing mass of moving bodies.

They didn't talk then, Blaine and Sebastian just moved to the beat, quickly getting used to the rhythm of the music and of their own bodies dancing together. Sebastian was already a little drunk, but not even the loudness of the music or the dashing neon lights of the club could distract him from the sight of Blaine moving almost sinfully in front of him. He could see Blaine was already drunk too, sexy as he was moving, the look on his face gave away he was lost in the moment. Sebastian smiled, happy that despite everything he was having a great time on his birthday.

After dancing for quite a while, Blaine excused himself to go to the restroom, telling Sebastian to wait for him at the bar. Sebastian waited for a couple of minutes and just when he was wondering how long Blaine was going to take, he was back and positively beaming. Before Sebastian could even ask him what he was so happy about, Blaine announced it was time to bounce again, and even though Sebastian didn't want to leave, he agreed.

They made one more stop and Blaine was a little too excited to get there, babbling all the way while they were in the cab. It was hilarious for Sebastian to see Blaine this drunk and hyper, and he figured he must be just as drunk as Blaine, so it was fine. It was almost midnight, so they still had time to enjoy themselves before even thinking of going home.

This time, they went to what was obviously a gay club, and Sebastian had never been there before, so was excited to get in and see how good or bad it was. He had his fair share of disappointments with gay bars before, but once inside he liked what he saw, and Blaine wasted no time dragging him to the bar for more drinks.

To say he was drunk would be the understatement of the year. Sebastian was starting to have a hard time keeping up with Blaine on the dance floor, suddenly feeling dizzy and lightheaded at the same time. He had no idea how Blaine still had so much energy after drinking and dancing non stop all night.

Sebastian leaned down to speak in Blaine's ear because of the loud music, to suggest they take a break but once he learned down Blaine curled his arms around Sebastian's neck, resting his forehead on his shoulder and Sebastian couldn't find it in him to even dare to break away.

They danced together, slowly and deliciously to the beat of the music. Their bodies moving in sync, the heat of Blaine's body and his scent was intoxicating. So when Blaine slid his leg between Sebastian's own and started rutting against him, Sebastian couldn't help the moan that escaped for the back of his throat.

Blaine smiled devilishly, moving his head from Sebastian's shoulder to the crook of his neck and breathing in and out strongly, sending a wave of shivers and electricity down Sebastian's whole body. Before Sebastian even had a chance to react, Blaine was sucking on his neck and soon after he was leaning up to kiss him, using the grip of his arms around Sebastian's neck to bring him down and have better access to him.

In that moment, Sebastian completely lost control of himself, not sure how much was because of the alcohol and how much it was just Blaine and the realization that he was finally kissing him, touching him, tasting him and it was all so overwhelming that Sebastian couldn't think of anything else but how he wanted more, needed more. Blaine was nipping on his bottom lip and running his fingers through the hair on the back of Sebastian's neck and he was just entranced in the feeling of it all.

His grip on Blaine's waist and back was strong and desperate, touching everywhere he could reach and just as they kept kissing, Blaine's hands wandered down to Sebastian's hips and he slowly slid his fingers under the hem of Sebastian's shirt, touching the skin just above the waistband of his jeans. The feeling of Blaine's hands on his hot skin had him grabbing handfuls of Blaine's ass and all lingering inhibitions and hesitations were finally thrown out the window as Sebastian almost lifted Blaine up from the floor and pushed him up against the nearest wall.

They were kissing hungrily, pulling at their clothes, biting their lips and necks and almost dry humping until Sebastian's erection started to strain so much inside his jeans that it was almost painful.

"Oh god, fuck me..." Blaine pleaded with a soft whisper and Sebastian knew right then that they needed to stop. They couldn't have sex here, not like this. But he couldn't stop, not right away, not when he had Blaine pressed against the wall with a hand on his ass and the other one pulling at his hair. But he slowed down and tried to get Blaine to open his eyes and look at him.

"Blaine wait... Wait... We need to slow down a little."

Blaine just let out a pained noise and slammed his head frustrated against the wall, breathing in and out.

"I'm gonna die if you don't fuck me right now Sebastian..." He blurted out, and Sebastian just wanted to die because there wasn't anything he wanted more than that but he couldn't, they shouldn't.

"We're too drunk... We need to calm down, and get out of here." Sebastian whispered and Blaine just nodded as they tried to compose themselves and walked towards the table where they left their jackets and drinks. 

They sat for a while, just awkwardly staring at each other and trying to catch their breath. Blaine looked deflated and tired, and Sebastian was just trying to figure out what to do now.

"I sill wanted to take you to one more club." Blaine suddenly said, pouting, and Sebastian just shook his head in complete disbelief, laughing.

"Not a chance. I think we're done for the night." 

"I could use another drink though." Blaine insisted.

"Yes, but of water..." Sebastian said, "there's no way you're having more alcohol tonight Blaine."

"Fine, mom!" Blaine said rolling his eyes, "order me some and I'll be right back." He said, getting up from the table and heading for the restroom.

Sebastian watched Blaine walk to the back of the club and he walked over to the bar to buy a couple of water bottles. He realized he needed to use the restroom too, so he put the water bottles on their table and headed towards the back where he'd seen Blaine go to.

Nothing could have prepared Sebastian for what he saw once he pushed the restroom door open: Blaine was hunched over the sink counter, snorting cocaine.

Blaine hadn't even realized he was being watched as he snorted a second line. He had his eyes closed as he turned his face up, facing the ceiling; he held the bridge of his nose between his fingers tightly and sighed heavily. Once he looked down at himself in the mirror, he could see Sebastian's reflection staring back at him, which made him turn around with a panicked expression, like a deer caught in the headlights.

Sebastian was speechless, standing beside the door with a horrified expression in his face, and for a few seconds none of them were able to say anything.

"Blaine... What the hell?"

Blaine quickly reached for the sink and wiped the surface with his palm, shoving his hand into his pocket immediately. Sebastian stormed into the bathroom and tried to pull Blaine's hand out of his pocket to see it, but Blaine squirmed as if Sebastian's touch burned and shoved him away, making Sebastian stumble a few steps backwards.

"It's nothing, Sebastian! Cut it out!" He yelled as Sebastian approached him again, this time grabbing his jaw and pulling his face up so he could look deep into his eyes.

His pupils were blown wide, and he was breathing fast and erratically, like a frightened animal.

"Nothing?" Sebastian yelled, "Blaine you're fucking snorting cocaine!"

Blaine removed himself from Sebastian's grip again and leaned against the wall on the opposite side of the room. "It's nothing, Sebastian, I swear... It's just a little something every once in a while, calm the fuck down."

Sebastian could see the panic in Blaine's eyes, even if he was trying to put up a facade of nonchalance.

"How can I calm down when you're doing drugs, Blaine? Don't you realize how bad this is?"

"It's not!" Blaine spat back... "I know what I'm doing."

Sebastian leaned against the sink and looked down at his feet before daring to look at Blaine again, and once he did it was like he was looking at someone else, a complete stranger. Sebastian just couldn't believe this was happening. 

"How bad is it?" Sebastian demanded.

Blaine just squinted his eyes, "What do you mea-"

"Your addiction Blaine! What else?" 

"I'm not... I don't have an addiction! Sebastian... You don't know anything."

"I'm not stupid Blaine."

"Well neither am I!" 

"Then why are you doing drugs, huh?" Sebastian spat back.

Blaine just rolled his eyes and headed towards the door. Sebastian bolted towards him, trying to stop Blaine grabbing him by the arm. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" Blaine yelled as he tried to shake Sebastian off.

"You're not going anywhere until you talk to me!" Sebastian said stubbornly, but he was still feeling so dizzy from all the alcohol that he just wasn't able to hold his balance when Blaine shoved him away. Sebastian fell backwards and hit the side of his face with the edge of the sink, falling to the floor and crying in pain.

"Shit!" Blaine said, leaning over a little bit to see how bad Sebastian was hurt, but keeping his distance, "I'm sorry Seb... I-- I have to go. I'm so sorry." He sobbed as he ran out the door and left Sebastian lying in the dirty restroom floor.

Sebastian looked at his hand and saw blood. He slowly tried to get up but the pain in his eye and the ridiculous amount of alcohol in his bloodstream made it impossible for him to catch up with Blaine.

When he finally got back to their table, he realized Blaine left without his jacket. He grabbed it and called a cab to take him back home. This birthday was by far the weirdest he'd ever had. Everything sucked.

\----

Back in his apartment, Blaine stumbled through the door, having opened it with the spare key he kept hidden under the doormat. He shut the door and slumped against it, falling to the floor. He cursed himself for being sloppy and careless, for letting Sebastian see him like that.

Even with his eyes closed he could still see the look of complete disappointment and disgust in Sebastian's face back in the club. Everything had been going so great lately, but Blaine had to screw it up, as he always did. Blaine knew he was a loser, a fuckup, he couldn't have nice things, it was just a matter of time until this happened. Sebastian wouldn't want anything to do with him after tonight, that was for sure. 

To be honest, Blaine didn't want to see him either, not after everything that happened. How could he? The sight of Sebastian on the floor, holding his face with blood in his hands would probably haunt him for days.

Because he did that, Blaine hurt Sebastian, he screwed up again. He hated this situation, but most of all, Blaine hated himself.

He curled into a ball in the cold floor and stayed there, sobbing and retching until he ran out of tears. It was almost 5 am when he finally got up from the floor and headed towards the bathroom. He knew what he needed to feel better: a spoon, a lighter, and his stash. He'd figure things out later, right now, he just needed to feel good again.

All his worries vanished slowly with every bit of clear liquid he shot up his arm, the rush and bliss of cocaine taking over everything. It was perfect.


	3. Chapter 3

Sebastian on the other hand, was barely able to sleep that night. The throbbing pain in his head, mixed with how sick he felt because of the heavy drinking and the shock and worry over the whole Blaine situation were enough to keep him up all night, feeling restless and confused.

He'd been so entranced in the club when they danced and kissed and touched; but everything was blown to hell in a matter of minutes. Sebastian realized now sadly that the drugs were probably the reason why Blaine came on to him, and not genuine feelings or interest.

When morning came around, Sebastian felt like crap, and he knew it wasn't only because of the terrible hangover. Sebastian felt torn and lost, he had no idea what to do; and he didn't have anyone to talk to or turn for advice. He needed to figure out what to do by himself. He couldn't risk telling anyone about this, not yet. Blaine needed help, even if he didn't think he did; and Sebastian couldn't turn his back on him now.

So he spent all Sunday morning doing research online. He had no experience dealing with drug addiction, he never knew anyone with a drug problem before, and every single thing he read online just made dread pool up inside him more and more. 

He didn't know how bad Blaine's problem with cocaine was, or even if cocaine was the only thing he was using. But the more he thought about everything, the more it all started to make sense. Blaine's change in demeanor and appearance, how he isolated himself from his family and friends, his jumpiness and constant mood swings, the way he'd started to be visibly uncomfortable after spending more than 8 hours in Sebastian's apartment yesterday. Sebastian thought Blaine had been bored, when he probably was just trying to suppress the cravings for cocaine.

Blaine didn't call or text him, and Sebastian didn't expect him to. He knew Blaine was going to avoid him now, but he wasn't going to let him isolate himself, not this time.

So when he tried calling him that afternoon and his calls went straight to voicemail, Sebastian knew he'd have to do something more. He waited one more day, trying to call again, but it seemed as if Blaine had turned off his phone completely. He wasn't online either, and Sebastian started to get really worried.

On Wednesday he decided to visit Juilliard and look for him there. Blaine wouldn't be able to avoid him forever, and Sebastian needed to talk and confront him about what happened.

But once he arrived on campus, Sebastian realized he had no idea where to find Blaine. With hundreds of students coming and going, it was like looking for a needle in a haystack. Sebastian walked aimlessly around, looking for the familiar head of dark curls and that dorky face, but he had no luck. He asked a couple of teachers but they weren't able to help. Sebastian didn't even know what classes Blaine was taking, so he decided to leave. 

He was on his way to the parking lot when someone approached him.

"Excuse me, hi... You're Sebastian, right?" A short girl with red curly hair asked, shyly.

Sebastian felt awkward, he'd never seen her before but she somehow knew him? This was so not the time for this. She must have sensed his awkwardness cause she quickly added: "I'm Lisa..." She gave his hand and Sebastian shook it hesitantly "Sorry, you don't know me but... I'm in Blaine's class."

"Oh, really?" Sebastian was suddenly hopeful.

"Yeah..." Lisa giggled, "Sorry if I freaked you out, Blaine talks about you a lot, and he snowed me a picture once, that's how I recognized you."

"It's okay..." Sebastian said, smiling "Have you seen him? I've been looking around trying to find him but I'm kinda lost here."

Lisa's face fell, "No. I haven't, I actually was hoping you could tell me where he's been? He hasn't showed up to class at all this week, and we're in finals. He already missed 2 tests, is he sick or something?"

Sebastian frowned, this was worse than he thought. Why was Blaine skipping class during finals? He remembered him being all worried about studying for his tests and the upcoming competition. Turns out, Lisa was part of the orchestra and Blaine was absent without even a word. They were planning to replace him if he didn't show up to rehearsal that afternoon, and Lisa asked Sebastian to tell Blaine that, in case he was able to get a hold of him.

After that, Sebastian knew he had to go Blaine's apartment if he wanted to find him.

He went over and walked up the stairs to the third floor since the elevator seemed to be forgoing maintenance. He knocked on the door and waited, but got no response from inside. He rang the bell, and still nothing. 

"Blaine, are you there?" Sebastian asked. He knocked again, harder this time. "Blaine, open the door, come on."

Sebastian stayed silent, resting his forehand on the door frustratedly, wondering where could Blaine possibly be, and that's when he heard the sound of quiet steps in the carpet from the other side of the door.

"Blaine please... I just wanna talk. Open the door." Sebastian pleaded. But still got no response at all.

Blaine was there, hiding from him. But Sebastian was stubborn, he wouldn't give up, and he was knocking incessantly. He would continue knocking and ringing the bell until Blaine opened the door. 

"Please just leave..." Blaine finally said in a small voice, barely audible amidst the loud banging of Sebastian's hand on the door.

"Blaine..." Sebastian pleaded, "I just wanna talk, come on. Why are you doing this? Let me in."

Sebastian stayed quiet, hoping Blaine would finally open the door, but he didn't. Sebastian tried kneeling down and looking under the door to see if he could spot Blaine, and he realized Blaine was sitting on the floor with his back to the door. 

He pressed his ear to the door, and that's when he heard it: Blaine was crying.

Sebastian felt a wave of sadness and disappointment wash over him. Blaine needed him, but he was shutting him out, literally. How could Sebastian help him if he wouldn't even talk to him?

"I'm not leaving." Sebastian told him, mouth almost pressed to the door, hoping Blaine would believe him. But he stayed quiet. After a couple of silent minutes that seemed like an eternity, Blaine finally spoke: "You're wasting your time."

Sebastian heard quiet shuffling behind the door and realized Blaine had stood up and walked away. He stayed there for a couple of more minutes before getting up and leaving. He had to go to work, as he did all afternoons after school. But he was going to try again tomorrow, and the day after that, and again and again until Blaine talked to him.

\----

Later that afternoon, when Sebastian came back from the office, he sat down on his couch and that's when he noticed Blaine's jacket hanging by the door. He suddenly remembered the sound of metal clacking he'd heard when he hung it in the rack on Saturday.

He walked over to grab it and searched the pockets until he found what he was looking for: Blaine's keys.

He debated for a minute about what he should do, not knowing if he should wait until the morning to go over again, or if he should go right now. He had no idea of what Blaine was thinking right now, or what he was doing, and he knew he wouldn't be able to rest until he found out.

So without further thought, he got up, grabbed the keys and headed back to Blaine's apartment.

Once he got there, Sebastian tried ringing the bell and knocking on the door again, but there was no response.

"Blaine..." He tried, calling out, "Blaine it's me again. I'm coming in."

There was nothing but silence in return, so Sebastian used the key to let himself in.

The place was completely dark, and the first thing Sebastian noticed was the sound of a can on the floor as he accidentally kicked it when he walked in. The can made a lot of noise, but there was still no sign of Blaine.

When Sebastian found the switch and turned the lights on; what he saw made his stomach do a horrible flip. Blaine was laying on the couch, face down, empty cans of beer all around him, a half empty bottle of tequila over the center table and a 20 dollar bill rolled up tightly. Sebastian knew what Blaine had used that for, even if there was no cocaine in sight, cause he'd seen him do it at the club.

Sebastian quickly walked over to the couch and tried to wake him up, calling his name while prodding and shaking him, but Blaine remained unconscious. Frustrated and slightly starting to panic, Sebastian grabbed Blaine by the collar of his shirt and tried to pull him up, but Blaine was completely limp, like a rag doll. Sebastian rolled him over and was relieved to see that at least he was still breathing.

"Fucking hell Blaine, what did you do?" Sebastian yelled at Blaine, shaking him by the shoulders and slapping him in the face, albeit softly, still hard enough to try and shake him into consciousness.

But Blaine was so out of it that he barely moved his arms and mumbled incoherently. Sebastian felt rage build up inside him and stormed towards the bathroom, thinking perhaps splashing some cold water in his face would wake him up. 

Sebastian planned on finding a container to put some water into and take it back to the couch, but when he saw elastic bands and a used syringe in the sink, he completely lost it. He strode back to the living room and dragged Blaine into the bathroom, he still wasn't fully conscious by the time Sebastian all but dropped him in the shower floor and turned on the water.

Blaine's eyes flew open once the water hit him, and he started coughing from how the water was getting into his nose and mouth because of the position he was in. But Sebastian didn't turn off the shower right away.

As soon as Blaine spotted Sebastian in front of him, his body went rigid and he almost jumped out of the shower, tripping and slipping on his way but Sebastian grabbed him and pushed him down so he would stay still.

"Seb-Sebastian... What are y-you doing here?" Blaine stuttered.

"God dammit Blaine... What the fuck are you doing to yourself?"

Blaine was completely unable to say anything, he just stared at Sebastian with a pained expression and tears pooling up in his eyes as he shook from the coldness of the water -or crash of the drugs- Sebastian didn't know.

He helped Blaine get out of the shower and took him to the bedroom, which was in a slightly better state than the living room, but still a little messy. He looked around Blaine's closet for some dry clothes and threw them at him before closing the door and telling him he'd wait for him in the living room. It almost felt like he was a parent chastising his child, but Blaine needed to be confronted about his problem, and Sebastian knew he had to do it, or else no one else could.

Sebastian couldn't stand the sight of all the mess around him so he took a plastic bag and started picking up the cans and trash he found around in an attempt to clean up and make himself busy while Blaine got dressed. Before he could even tell, he'd cleaned up most of the mess and that's when he realized Blaine shouldn't be taking so long just to get dressed.

He walked back into Blaine's room and found him sitting against the headboard with his knees pressed to his chest and his face hidden between his crossed arms. Suddenly all anger and annoyance Sebastian held towards him just faded away, sadness and sympathy instantly taking their place.

He approached the bed slowly and stood there for a few minutes, silent. He could tell Blaine knew he was there, cause he noted the way his shoulders tensed up. Yet Blaine didn't look up, he didn't move at all, it was like he was willing the earth to swallow him whole, like he'd rather just stay there in denial and not face Sebastian, ever.

"Are you okay?" Sebastian asked, softly.

Blaine just sniffled.

Sebastian slowly sat on the bed, keeping a safe distance. They remained in silence for quite a while, until Blaine slowly untangled himself from the ball he'd curled into and looked warily at Sebastian.

"I'm sorry... About your eye." Blaine said in a small, hoarse voice, and Sebastian just frowned. Of all the things Blaine could have said, he was apologizing for accidentally giving him a black eye? Sebastian had even forgotten about it, the bruise was still there but it didn't hurt anymore. No physical pain could compare to the anguish of knowing Blaine was destroying his life with drugs though.

"Blaine, what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to apologize...." Blaine said meekly, fidgeting uncomfortably under Sebastian's scrutiny. 

"My face is fine..." Sebastian said bluntly, quickly toning down his voice once he saw how Blaine flinched back, "You scared me Blaine. I thought you were dead or something... you can't keep doing this..."

Blaine looked like he wanted to cry. But said nothing, staring at his hands like they held the answers he was looking for. He'd look everywhere except at Sebastian.

"Since when have you been doing this?" Sebastian asked, trying his luck even though he didn't think Blaine would really tell him.

Sebastian's question caught Blaine off guard; he just frowned and shook his head.

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does." Sebastian pressed.

"Why? So you can judge me? Tell me how stupid I am?" Blaine was suddenly defensive and angry, a drastic change from only a few seconds ago.

"No..." Sebastian said steadily, "I just want to know, cause I'm worried about you Blaine..."

"Don't be."

"I just want to help."

"You can't."

"Why not? You need to stop Blaine... You're ruining your life."

"You think I don't know that!?" Blaine cut Sebastian off, kneeling in the bed, his eyes wild and desperate, filled with unshed tears. "I've tried to stop... But it's not easy. I can't do it... I can't."

"You don't have to do it alone... It would be easier if you-"

"If I went to rehab? Is that what you're gonna say Sebastian, really?" Blaine said, bitterly and mockingly. 

Sebastian frowned because yes that is what he was going to suggest but Blaine makes it seem like a stupid idea when he knows that's probably what's in his best interest.

"It is harder if you try to do it alone Blaine..."

"It's fine... I just need a few days. It was worse a couple of years ago, I have it under control now, I swear."

Sebastian felt the blood drain from is face. A few years ago? How long had Blaine been doing cocaine for? This was insane; this couldn't be real.

"I tried to stop all together, you know? When we ran into each other and said we'd go out for coffee? I tried to quit then... Really quit."

Sebastian stayed still as Blaine started pouring his guts out, he didn't want to interrupt in case he changed his mind and decided to push him away again.

"When I saw you, you seemed so different, successful, happy. I wished I could be like that, figured you were the one person I might still have a chance to be friends with. Everyone else just left... I didn't make any efforts to keep their friendships and they didn't try either, it's easy to push people away when they don't even care.

"So I tried... I didn't use any for 2 whole days, but it gets me down and the cravings are so bad I can't go through the day, unless I drink myself stupid or take something else." Blaine let out a self-deprecating laugh, "You know why I was late that day?"

Sebastian just stared and shook his head.

"Cause I finally snapped. I knew I couldn't meet you if I was drunk, and I felt like I wanted to die. It had been so long since I took a hit that I got myself high over and over and I couldn't stop. When I noticed what time it was I couldn't leave cause I had to wait a bit until the high faded out. That's why I was late."

Sebastian sighed, he had no idea, but it made sense, and it scared him to think that Blaine could binge on cocaine non-stop. He could overdose and die, and thought alone had him feeling nauseous.

"Blaine I know it's hard but you need to keep trying... You can quit, I know you can."

"No, you don't know." Blaine told him with a pained smile. "I can't."

Sebastian's patience was wearing thin.

"You can, if you really want to. Do you want to be a junkie, Blaine?" Sebastian said regretting his choice of words the second they left his mouth. But it was too late, Blaine was frozen in the spot, and Sebastian saw how his shocked expression quickly turned into anger. 

"Fuck you! You don't know anything Sebastian!"

That was all it took for the both of them to start yelling at each other. Blaine telling Sebastian to leave him the fuck alone and Sebastian stubbornly telling Blaine that he was an idiot and was going to get himself killed. Blaine was visibly shaking, his eyes rabid and Sebastian was so frustrated because he didn't know what to do.

In the midst of his anger and frustration, Sebastian threatened to find his stash and flush it down the toilet, walking over to the bathroom with Blaine practically running after him. Sebastian opened the cabinet and found the small plastic bag full of white powder, but before he could flush it, Blaine plunged himself over him, practically tackling him, trying to take the bag away from his hand.

Sebastian was taller and stronger than Blaine, but the euphoria and rage had Blaine pumping adrenaline and soon he had Sebastian pinned to the floor. This was just so ridiculous and for a minute Sebastian didn't know what he wanted more: to help Blaine or to kick his ass.

Just as Blaine took the bag from Sebastian's hand, he overpowered him and rolled them over, making Blaine drop the bag in the process.

"Blaine calm the fuck down! Do you even see yourself? Fucking hell!"

"Fuck you! Fuck you Sebastian" Blaine cried, "Just leave me the fuck alone, give it back! Aahh!"

That's all Blaine could say before Sebastian grabbed it from the floor and threw it away from them. He nearly missed but luckily the small bag hit the lid and bounced into the toilet seat. Sebastian quickly scrambled away from Blaine and crawled to flush the water.

Blaine tried to stop him but couldn't. It was too late. It was gone. 

Sebastian pushed Blaine away from where he was wrapped around his legs and Blaine didn't even protest, soon enough he was laying on his back, sobbing and cursing Sebastian. 

Sebastian got up and looked bitterly at the broken man that used to be Blaine Anderson. Who was this person? He didn't know anymore, but the sight of him thrown in the floor crying like someone had died just filled him with sadness and anger. This was harder than he ever imagined, and now everything was a mess. He wanted to help but realized that Blaine didn't want to be helped; he was in too deep and needed professional help.

"I'm calling your brother." Sebastian said softly before turning to walk away, but in a matter of seconds Blaine scrambled up on the floor, grabbing Sebastian's legs, begging him not to.

"No no no no, please don't" Blaine begged, terrified "Not Cooper, please Sebastian, he'll tell my mom, please, I'll do anything you want!"

And in that moment Sebastian felt a knot form in his throat and the sting of tears threatening to well up in his eyes.

Sebastian knelt down and grabbed Blaine's shoulders, making him look at him, "Look at me! All I want is for you to stop this, Blaine. You need to quit." 

Blaine just choked out a sob and covered his face with his hands, but Sebastian put his hands over Blaine's to remove them. He cradled Blaine's face with his hands and looked deep into his eyes. Those big, amber eyes full of sadness and shame.

"We can do this..." Sebastian said softly, but firmly, "I want to help you Blaine, but you need to let me."

Blaine bit his lower lip and nodded weakly; Sebastian could feel him trembling. He rested his forehead against Blaine's and they stayed there, sitting in the hallway in silence for a few minutes, catching their breath.

"I'm such a failure..." Blaine suddenly spoke, in a voice so small it was almost a whisper, "Why do you even want to help me? I don't... I've been awful to you."

"Hey, stop..." Sebastian said, holding Blaine's face and looking straight into his eyes, "I'm here cause I care about you, Blaine. I'm here."

Sebastian felt Blaine's breath hitch as amber met green and he wasn't sure who was the first to lean in but before he knew it, their lips were clashed together and they were kissing. It started soft and hesitant but after a few seconds it got rough and desperate. 

It was like everything they wanted to say translated to the touch of their lips against each other, the feel of their tongues melting together and every touch of their hands and bodies was filled with promises of: I'm here, I won't let go, and please stay, I need you.

Sebastian could taste the salty tears and a hint of beer with every swipe of his tongue against Blaine's and he could hear a little voice in the back of his head screaming for him to stop but there was something about Blaine that was just so addicting.

Addicting, like a drug. The realization dawned oh him and Sebastian knew he needed to stop, but Blaine was almost straddling him in the floor and he had Sebastian with his back against the wall. Any other time he wouldn't hesitate to take him right there but all of the sudden he knew it wasn't right. Blaine wasn't himself right now, and Sebastian knew he shouldn't be allowing this to happen.

He slowly stopped the kiss and held Blaine's face for a few seconds. Just the desperate and broken look on his face made Sebastian almost lose his resolve, but he still managed to hold it together.

"We need to slow down." Sebastian said, feeling breathless.

"Sorry." Blaine said as he scrambled off his lap like a child that had just been chastised.

Sebastian smiled fondly at him as he stood up, offering his hand and helping him get back on his feet. Sebastian led him back into the bedroom and they lay together in bed. For a while they didn't say anything, they just lay on their sides looking at each other in silence.

Blaine seemed to be calming down now, but Sebastian knew this peace wouldn't last for long. Soon he would go into withdrawal and they needed to figure out what they were going to do.

Before Sebastian could start the conversation Blaine drifted off, and he was left there, contemplating him as he slept, wishing that being here and staying the night would be enough to make it all better. Wishing he could hold him and kiss all his troubles away, even though he knew it was impossible.

Sebastian pulled the covers over the both of them, and tried to get some sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

When morning came along, Sebastian felt tired and sore, like he just woke up from a horrible nightmare. It all just felt surreal, but the reality of it all hit him soon enough when he opened his eyes and saw Blaine curled up next to him. 

Even though he was still asleep, Sebastian felt him breathing harsh and slightly shaking. When Blaine finally opened his eyes and noticed the position he was in, he slowly untangled himself from Sebastian's embrace, a light blush appearing on his cheeks and clearly feeling self conscious and embarrassed, probably remembering everything that happened the night before.

He looked uncomfortable and shaky, and Sebastian knew they had no chance to be coy about things right now; they needed to talk and figure out how they were going to do this.

And so they did.

No matter how much Sebastian insisted, Blaine refused to check into a clinic, so they agreed to try to do this by themselves. Blaine promised Sebastian that he wouldn't buy any more cocaine and that they'd see each other every day. Sebastian had him on a short leash; the deal was that Blaine would always answer the phone when he called. If Blaine ever tried to isolate himself or disappear, Sebastian would immediately call Cooper and tell him everything.

But it was hard; in fact it was harder than Sebastian ever thought it would be. He expected that going through withdrawal was going to be difficult for Blaine, painful, even. But he never would have imagined it would have such a deep effect on him as well.

Going through this with Blaine was a test to his patience, and his character. He'd never felt so helpless before. No matter how much he read about it online, nothing could really prepare him for the roller coaster of emotions and challenges that helping Blaine detox brought.

The first 2 days Blaine was jumpy, anxious, and extremely irritable. The cravings were really bad, and Sebastian tried his best to be around as much as he could, trying to keep Blaine focused and motivated. He knew it was dangerous to just quit everything at once, so he allowed Blaine to at least have a beer once, to try and calm him down when the cravings had him going nuts. But he could only have a beer with the condition that he also had something to eat. Which he didn't really want to, but Sebastian was stubborn and always made sure Blaine ate at least 3 meals a day.

The third day was when Sebastian started getting really worried though. Blaine was like a ghost, a shadow of his former self. He was quiet and withdrawn, he didn't want to eat, or even leave the bed. Whenever Sebastian coaxed him to interact, Blaine would end up crying.

Sebastian didn't need a formal diagnosis to know that Blaine was depressed. His nights were restless and his days somber, it felt like without the drugs, Blaine had lost the will to live.

Sebastian was lucky to be done with the semester, because otherwise it would have been impossible for him to keep an eye on Blaine like he needed. Also, with the amount of time and effort he needed to put into looking after Blaine, it would have been impossible for him to concentrate on schoolwork.

They alternated between staying at his place some days and others going back to Blaine's. 

He never left Blaine alone, except for the time he needed to be at work every afternoon. Those were the longest hours of his day, constantly wondering what Blaine was doing, hoping he wouldn't relapse.

The afternoon of the 8th day, Sebastian called Blaine from work, as he normally would, to check up on him. He called once and Blaine didn't pick up. Sebastian could feel dread growing inside him; he tried dialing one more time before jumping into conclusions and panicking, but Blaine didn't pick up either. He checked on Skype but Blaine wasn't online. Something was definitely wrong.

He still had one more hour to go before he could leave, and he debated for a moment if he should wait or ask to leave early. After his third call went to voicemail, he knew he had to leave.

Sebastian rushed to Blaine's apartment, and in his way up the stairs bumped into some guy who didn't even excuse himself for shoving him away. Not that Sebastian cared though; the only thing on his mind was finding Blaine.

Once Sebastian opened the door he felt his stomach drop to his feet, he could see Blaine was in the balcony with the glass door closed behind him, siting over the railing. He rushed towards him and slowly opened the door, approaching him carefully.

"Blaine..." Sebastian spoke cautiously.

"Don't come any closer!" Blaine pleaded, and Sebastian could tell he'd been crying.

"Blaine please, don't do this..."

"Why not?" Blaine said bitterly, "I'm just scum... I'd be doing you a favor."

Sebastian felt his heartbeat faster and faster. He looked down at Blaine's hands and noticed he was holding a small plastic bag with white powder on it. Shit. Had he taken any? Was he high right now? Was that why he was sitting on the railing? He didn't even want to know; all he wanted to do was take him off the railing and back inside.

"Blaine please..." He tried again, "please just come down. You don't wanna do this."

"Actually, I really want to do it." Blaine said bluntly, "I could just jump, and be done with it."

Sebastian's eyes were wide as Blaine took one of his hands off the railing. He took the small plastic bag and stared at it.

"I just can't do this anymore Sebastian, I don't want to. I promised you I wouldn't buy again and I did. I'll never be able to stop, I might as well just die."

Sebastian was slowly getting closer to Blaine, careful not to startle him, he knew he had to be quick, he couldn't let Blaine sit there for another second, he was not going to let him jump. And so Sebastian threw himself at Blaine, curling his arms around his waist, pulling him off the railing and back into the balcony. The move was sudden and harsh, and they both hit their heads against the wall when they fell back.

Blaine started trying to wrestle Sebastian off of him, but Sebastian's grip was firm and strong, holding him down. Sebastian couldn't even say anything as Blaine kicked and thrashed beneath him, he just felt despair overcoming him, thinking about how if he hadn't left the office early, Blaine could be dead. Thinking about how he probably would end up dying anyways and Sebastian wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

Blaine gasped and whined under Sebastian, wishing he could just get him off. It wasn't until he felt wetness drop on him from above that he finally stopped fighting. In the midst of his desperation he hadn't realized Sebastian was crying, tears were streaming down his face and dripping from his chin and onto Blaine.

Blaine froze, shocked and ashamed all at the same time. And in that moment he felt whichever little strength he still had just drain away from him as he started crying too.

Blaine wanted to die; he just wanted everything to end. He'd known this was going to happen, he wasn't strong enough to quit. He wasn't even strong enough to kill himself. He'd tried before, Sebastian didn't know that, but he had.

Blaine didn't care about his life anymore, he was already dead inside anyway. But somehow watching Sebastian cry because of him just tore him in a place he didn't even know he could hurt. He didn't want to fight anymore, didn’t want to hurt, and didn’t want to feel. He just wanted it all to stop.

Once Sebastian sensed Blaine was no longer fighting him, his grip on Blaine's wrists softened. They'd both been crying for what seemed like hours, not saying anything. 

"I'm so sorry, Seb..." Blaine said, sniffling as he slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position.

Sebastian didn't say anything; he just looked to the side as he wiped the tears and snot from his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

"You can't do that Blaine..." He said, voice hoarse from all the crying, "You can't kill yourself Blaine, you can't do that to me."

Sebastian words cut deep into him, and Blaine realized in that moment how selfish he had been. He'd been going through hell but all the while, Sebastian had stood by his side. Sebastian had been with I'm every step of the way, staying awake during his sleepless nights, talking to him even when he was not talking back, supporting him, believing in him, and Blaine had just been taking that for granted.

Sebastian didn't deserve this; he didn't deserve to be stuck with this broken, drug-addicted shell of a person. But somehow, as Sebastian leaned forward and put his arms around him in a tight embrace, Blaine realized that Sebastian cared about him, he truly cared about him.

They hugged tightly, sitting on the floor, sobbing into each other's shoulders and whispering promises. Blaine knew he had to get better; he had to stop himself from spiraling back into his addiction. Even if not for him, he had to do it for Sebastian.

So after that day, Blaine finally agreed to check himself into a clinic. It was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do, but he did it. The hopeful gleam in Sebastian's eyes when he told him was enough to give him the courage to call Cooper and tell him everything. After all, Cooper had been the only one who knew about Blaine's depression a few years back, and he'd been there for him when he went to therapy and started taking antidepressants on his first year of college.

Cooper didn't judge him back then, and he didn't judge him this time either, he even promised not to tell their mother, as long as Blaine stayed in rehab for the 30 day minimum they instructed, and stuck to the treatment and outpatient care afterwards too.

After 2 months, Blaine was slowly getting back to normal, and even though it was hard, he even joined a 12-step program. He agreed to everything as long as it meant he could get better and stay on track.

Every step of the way, Sebastian was there for him. Blaine never understood what Sebastian saw in him that made him stay. He never could have imagined that that reckless, overtly flirtatious and scheming boy he met back in high school would become his rock, the one person keeping him grounded in the midst of the mess that had become of his life.

Sometimes Blaine wondered what would have happened if they hadn't bumped into each other in the subway all those months ago. Looking back, he knows his life would be different, would be worse. But that spark of friendship they ignited that day had been the light that brought Blaine back to life.

\----

Blaine hugged Sebastian tightly as he felt the touch of his lips kissing his forehead and smiled. He'd been clean for 6 months now, and Sebastian had taken him out for dinner to celebrate. Now they were back at Sebastian's apartment, lying in the couch, watching TV.

Sebastian stared blankly at the television, not really paying attention to whatever movie was playing. For a moment he was just lost in the feeling of Blaine curled up next to him, the sound of his breathing and the heat of his body pressed to his side. He saw how Blaine smiled and his lips curled up into a smile of his own. He still couldn’t believe Blaine was doing so much better.

Six months seemed like an eternity, but he’d made it through. Addiction was a complicated thing, and he knew he couldn’t take any progress Blaine made for granted. 

As bad as everything was, Sebastian was glad he was able to be with Blaine through it all. It made them bond together in a way he never imagined he could. After everything that happened, Sebastian realized he needed Blaine as much as Blaine needed him.

Whichever arguments they got into or differences they had paled in comparison to what they went through while Blaine was going through detox and rehab respectively. It had been hard for Sebastian at first, his feelings for Blaine confused him and while they had blurred the lines between just friends and something more, they hadn’t “officially” gotten together until 2 months ago.

It was like everything had finally fallen into place. Blaine was so much more than just his boyfriend; they were more than just best friends who happened to be together.

Sebastian was certain he would never get used to the feeling of Blaine’s skin against his own, of their mouths connected together and their bodies moving in sync. He’d been with plenty of people before, but sex had never felt like it did with Blaine.

Now, as they kissed lazily on the couch, with Blaine’s legs wrapped around his waist and his fingers running though Sebastian’s hair, he knows exactly why. Blaine and him have a connection that goes further than just the physical, they didn’t just want each other, didn’t just like each other, they needed and complemented each other.

As they slowly undress each other, kissing and worshipping every inch of skin exposed, Sebastian knows this is real, and revels in the magic of it. He looks deep into amber eyes, glowing as they look up at him, lips red from all the kissing, skin flush with arousal and feels a warm feeling spread within his chest. Sebastian then leaned down to kiss Blaine’s neck, slowly trailing up to his jaw before landing softly in his lips and whispered ‘I love you’.

He feels Blaine’s breath hitch and even with his eyes closed, Sebastian can feel him smiling into the kiss. “I love you so, so much.” He hears Blaine whisper back as their mouths continue to move together along with the rest of their bodies. 

Later that night, as they lay curled around each other under the covers, their bodies warm and sated, Sebastian finally knows for sure, this is what being in love feels like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This was my first time writing Seblaine, and I loved it. Any feedback and reviews are much appreciated. 
> 
> Thanks to the OP for a very interesting prompt, I hope you liked my fill.


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